Glimpses into my Real thoughts!!

You can’t do everything in life, coz there are so many things to do, see, read, go, try.

So. Narrow your focus. Narrow your focus. Narrow your focus!! 8 out of 10 internet articles suggest getting out there and doing something. But first. Narrow your focus!

I can only see the bed right now. Is that narrow enough??

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I promise not to read any more articles, in print or on the device(s). Oh wait, before I keep the phone away, this one sounds interesting. Lemme just skim through this. Oh, here is a link to another one that is SO relevant to me. Lemme just finish this.

2.5 hrs later. Dang where did the day go!!

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Day N-1 – I want to eat healthy, I want to stay fit, I want to look good, I want to do more, I want to make some money, I want to explore the world, I want to fly to the moon. So starting tomorrow I shall change my life and do all things new!

Day N – Who is going to go out and buy oats now? and from where? Lemme see what leftovers are there in the fridge for lunch.

Oops I forgot to run today. Maybe in the evening? 

If I can do only one thing to take care of myself, can I tend to my dry feet and cracked soles? 

Money money money, how do I get more of it honey? Don’t want to do what I studied for. Don’t know how to go about following my “passion” 

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Wake up with commitment, not with your feelings says a motivational poster. Yes!!

If I listen to my feelings every morning I would be eating, reading, watching TV, sleeping. Repeat. On most days!!

That won’t really do much for me will it?

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Behind the scenes

Just another day, not today. But a sample of what happens on many days.

6:45 am: Got up, awake yet slow. Brushed my teeth, looked at myself in the mirror. Need to get my hair coloured. It looks weird, unkept and dry. Note to myself – Call my hair guy and set an appointment. It is Diwali this weekend. Yay!! Party!!

7:15 am: The kid’s tiffin packed. Breakfast, lunch and dinner planned out. Stuff for breakfast laid out. Time to go wake the kid. Oh, it rained last night and there is water on the terrace coz the f$%^&& idiots made the slope wrong. Need to get that cleaned when the maid comes in. Put in the laundry? Sky looks cloudy. What does that have to do with it? You can put it on full dry mode. Naaah! Just forget it today. Don’t feel like it.

7:25: The kid and his dad are still snoozing. Yank the blankets off! Mean me. The dad takes one look at his smart phone and has something urgent from work. I swear I could throw all phones into the Dead Sea. So he is unavailable from now on till whatever he needs to do gets done. Note to self – Pretend he is out of town.

7:55 am: The kid is ready for school. Finally!! After very “patiently” talking, role playing, subtle cajoling and just short of pleading. It took 25 minutes of cuddles, PDA, sweet talk, playing silly games and 5 minutes to actually get into the uniform. We march down the stairs for breakfast.

Expected time of Departure from home to catch the school bus is:

Easy breezy walk – 8:00 am

Power walk – 8:05 am

Run – 8:10 am

Run for your life – 8:15 am

We manage to make it 8:00 am on most days, but today doesn’t seem like that day.

8:00 am: The breakfast is toasted slices of bread with butter and jam and a glass of milk. Easy simple, what’s so difficult about that. Trust toddlers to come up with the most innovative ways to delay, refuse or whine about things. The young one wants to “cook” his breakfast. He wants to make something at 8:00 am when he is supposed to leave for school. Aaarrrghhhh! I want to scream out loud. But I don’t. I have house guests. I am trying to be nice and well behaved. I tell him we will cook together for lunch or dinner.

8:03 am: Looking at the calendar on the kitchen wall. Oh sh%^^ [don’t worry, I did not say that out loud]! I need to submit an article by tomorrow, an article that I haven’t started writing yet!!! Note to self – Finish it today. Tomorrow will be too late.

8:05 am: Back to reality. I am still pushing and gently prodding the little one to finish his glass of milk. 3/4th of the glass is gone. He refuses to drink the remaining. I am thisclose, yes THISCLOSE to screaming again. Pause. Think Simran what can you do now. I ask him why don’t you want to drink. He says it is cold. I do the finger test and it is frigging warm-on-the-side-of-hot. Before I can say anything he repeats “It is cold mama!” I take a sip and it dawns on me. I say “You mean there is less sugar?” His eyes become big and round and he nods. “Then you need to say it is not sweet enough. We don’t call it COLD!!”

I say it out loud, to myself “How irritating!” I hear the husband’s voice saying “How funny, right?” I get it! He is trying to make me see it in another light. I don’t want to see it from any other angle. Hmmphh!

I add sugar and give it to him. He is still not budging. I take away the glass and say ok no milk. He stares at me with the I-can’t-believe-this look. And I continue “No watching that movie-that-we-recorded-to-see-on-movie-day”. Totally mean me! I know, this is against all the rules of perfect parenting. But I DON’T WANT TO BE A PERFECT PARENT right now!!!! All I want to do is YELL – LEFT, RIGHT AND CENTER. But I don’t.

Bingo! It works. He gulps down the last bit of milk and is off to school. One down.

8:10 am: The good byes and I-love-yous are done. My cousins who are visiting are gone too. I warm up my milk and toast my bread and sit down for breakfast. Ding dong! There goes the bell. The maid is here. Back to a cold toast after giving her directions. Who cares!

8:20 am: The contractor calls in saying he will be here with his army of 5 men to finish off pending tasks. Okay 😦 Whatever!

8:55 am: The bell rings. The contractor walks in and 5 men with him. The maid looks at me and says “Phir se kaam shuru karange yeh log? [Will these people start work again?]….

… Such is life, it isn’t always what it seems like!! Yet we live it, love it and it is beautiful the way it is.

Have a lovely week ahead. May you have the slow moments that you crave for and the fast, hectic, crazy ones too. May you have the best of both worlds.
Happy Monday!!

Moral compass

What defines your sense of right and wrong? Who decides it for you? Family, friends, society, religion or you? 

If other people tell you something is wrong, is it wrong? If you say something is right, is it right? They say, If we live in a society, we have to live by certain moral codes, standards and values. I say, isn’t that violating a basic right to freedom of thought, expression and action. 

I should be free to express what I feel and do what I want. You might say, well then what about violence, guns, rape, murders and the likes. After all isn’t that what some people do because they want to…..

….and the debate goes on!

 

 

 

 

 

The simple pleasures of life!

I got up today while the husband and the kid were still sleeping. Looked around the apartment and saw suitcases, big black trash bags holding stuff other than trash and a few heaps of laundry piled up. We are packing for a move, across countries, yet again.
It was quiet in the house. My tummy was rumbling. I walked out to grab a coffee and muffin from the tiny yet fully functional hole-in-the-wall coffee place just as I walk out of our building. I wonder if I will do that again some time soon. The coffee was heavenly and the day started on a good note. I had started one more round of laundry, folded the previous set, was done with my day’s social media catching up and had my breakfast. Ah the simple pleasures of life!

Last night I swore not to move again, no across cities, across countries moving. I want to settle down in one place and have a base. Packing for trips and holidays is just fine 😉

But like I say and believe “Never say never”. I think I will be ok if I have to move again. This particular move has imparted its share of learnings though.

1. Prioritization – The move to and from New Zealand has resulted in a whole lot of prioritizing. It ranged from things like which clothes to carry, how many shoes, what accessories, which books to what to leave behind in storage, what to donate, what to discard, what needs to be sold, what needs to be done first and last! It has forced me to see what actually figures on the top of my list compared to what I thought would.

2. Emotional detachment – The above process also resulted in breaking those bonds of emotional attachment to that dress that you love but haven’t worn in a year or more! It also taught me that everybody has varying degrees of emotional attachment. I was cool and emotionally unperturbed about giving away or selling furniture from my Bangalore apartment but my mother and my mother-in-law were a little concerned and asked me if it really did not bother me parting with all that stuff! 🙂

3. Sorting – My sorting abilities have definitely improved. When one does the exercise of keep, throw, donate for every material thing that they own, twice in 8 months it is bound to do some good in the related part of the brain. I guess! I wish I could do that for my emotional clutter too. Keep the happy memories and throw the sad ones.

4. De clutter and donate – S and I were discussing that we have cleaned out closets and donated stuff more than ever in our life time. If not for this move we would still have a lot of random junk that we did not use, wear or like! A lot of cleansing up and feel-good has happened. Of course the cleaner, less crowded closet shelves have prompted a few shopping sprees also. But I am also doing what I learnt from my mil, “When you buy 1 of something new, give away 2 of something old.” Try that, eh?

Life is nice. It is not all smooth, perfect and happy always but it is nice. I could ask for a li’l bit of this and that. But while I sip my mocha, looking out at some lovely downtown landscape through ceiling to floor glass windows it seems just fine in the big picture!

Day 26 – Daily list of Happiness!

In Pursuit of More is a blog I follow. Shira is a lovely lady who cooks really yummy food and runs a non-profit called Not So Fast. She has a beautiful blog and I love the pictures and quotes she puts up. One of my favorites is “More compassion. More acceptance. More middle ground.”. This could apply to all fields of life!!

One of her recent posts was about her daily bits of happiness. It is a beautiful read and it prompted me to write my own list of things that make me happy every day.

1. When I get up before my son wakes up and spend some time chatting with my husband about our plans for the day or about what’s going on in our current fave reality TV show or anything else under the sun.

2. A pit stop at my fave coffee haunt here in Wellington and catching up on the day’s news in the local paper.

3. Having some simple and flavourful food when I am really hungry (this one I share with Shira).

4. Getting my social media dose for the day.

5. Sorting or clearing something and getting rid of clutter.

6. Ironing clothes while watching TV – it does bring me peace of mind.

7. Talking to my mom and my sister. They complete my day. Love you both!!

8. Cooking a fresh pasta with veggies, olive oil and garlic. I love making and eating that.

9. Story time before I put my son to bed. I think I enjoy reading out the stories and discussing new things we discover, more than N.

10. My son’s genuine hearty giggles or laughs. They are so infectious and always always bring a smile to my face 🙂

11. Catching up with a friend via phone or in person. Friends are like therapy and we all need some!

12. Some music before I go to bed while I read an interesting book. I like discovering new songs and new kinds of music.

I should do one or more of these to keep my happiness quotient high for the day.

What’s on your daily list of happiness? Are you able to do any or some of them daily? Why not?

 

This post is part of the Marathon Blogging December 2012.

Day 22 – Things to do before I die – Theme post day

This week’s theme post brief in the December 2012 Marathon Blogging event was – Let us lay our hearts open, and talk about our “Bucket List”, 10 things you want to do before you kick the bucket. It may be a plain and simple bucket list, or a contextual subset, 10 adventures you want to try, 10 foods you want to try, 10 holiday locations you dont want to miss, and the list goes on! Run your imaginations wild and entertain us all 🙂 10 is just a number, it will be easy for people to read and interact, else sky is the limit.

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I had made a sticky note for myself about things I wanted to do in the next 5, 10, 15 years here. This was almost a year and half ago.

I am listing the ones not yet completed on that list along with some new ones.

NOTE – This is a work-in-progress list.

– Travel within India – Leh, Jaipur (to get a bandhini saree), Agra (to see Taj Mahal – yes clichéd, but still), Gujarat, backwaters in Kerala (boat house anyone?).

– Travel internationally – Bora Bora Islands (this one is going to be a no-kid-with-the-spouse-only holiday), Italy (for an authentic pizza), London (this time a longer trip), Antarctica, Dubai (to buy gold, yeah right!), be a volunteer at the Olympic games.

– Read books, loads of ‘em and collect all those books for my collection at home. Here is why I love to read?

– Write a children’s book – this one is inspired by my son.

– Take a cruise to Alaska.

– Take N to Disney world. Just once! Before he outgrows love for all those characters.

– Do something that I REALLY LOVE and have natural passion for (money and time not being constraints) – something that makes use of my spatial skills (my friend A says I am good at these), my love for books, decor and photography.

– Watch plays at Ranga Shankara (as long as I’m in Bangalore) and else where too. Addendum to this one – See a broadway show -front row, center 🙂

– Learn to cook amazingly, fabulously, awesome-ly, stupendous-ly and some other -lys. I am such a foodie and love to try new things, eat visually appealing food but I want to be able to make those dishes or at least half of them. Some day!

– And the one dream that I have been harboring since a long time – Live in Manhattan, on the island, even a studio apartment will do or a loft overlooking Central Park (I know I know I am not that rich but it doesn’t cost anything to dream, does it?), walk to work amongst the teeming crowds, watch theatre on Broadway, take the subway, have a picnic in Central Park! – This has been partly fulfilled! I am living in Wellington downtown. The apartment is one of those modern, white, ceiling-to-floor glass windows wala thingies. I walk around to everywhere possible. I use the public transport when needed. The city has a waterfront that I really like and often walk down to. But I am still going to keep this one on the list for sentimental purposes.

What is in your bucket list? 

A day of remembrance

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Friends and fellow bloggers,

I am one of the many bloggers, who is taking part in observing silence for the innocent victims who lost their lives in Friday’s shooting rampage at Sandy Hook Elementary School, Connecticut.
It was a sad moment, one of the worst you could go through as a parent, as a human being.
I hugged my son tighter than usual as I picked him from school that day. I kissed him extra goodnight kisses.
I read what Karen Alpert says here “We all say a lot of things to our children. Some of them good. Some of them not as good. Because it’s what helps them grow. But the most important thing we say is I love you. We say it all the time. Even when we’re not actually saying it.”  and I said a million I-love-yous – some silent, some out loud!
I don’t know how I would feel or what I would do, if I was in that position as those families whose loved ones have been taken from them.
I don’t know if this or the many other things, people all over the world are doing, would help me.
But as bloggers and as human beings, we collectively want those affected by this to know that they are in our thoughts and prayers.