Overheard at the airport, one lady to another, “My son always wants candy after school, after dinner. If I don’t give it to him, he makes such a big scene. I keep it ready with me at all times.” She went on to rant about how she just couldn’t get her child to get rid of this habit. How he was getting too much sugar. How he wouldn’t listen to her when she refused and would start rolling on the floor.
I wanted to ask her “Who is the parent here?”, “Why do YOU give the candy?”, “What will happen if you don’t?” [Believe me the world does not come crashing down]. And mostly (except a few extreme cases) the shouting, crying, yelling, kicking aka throwing a tantrum stops after a while. Kids need all the love in the world but sometimes they also need to know that you will enforce some rules and stick to them. They will test limits, that is what they are meant to do, that is how they learn. YOU need to be the grown up. Decide what you want to do and then don’t crib about it. Period.
I know my social boundaries and in general, I do not give out unsolicited advice, so I kept quiet 🙂
But I seriously don’t understand why parents would give so much candy – especially when the kid is getting loud, noisy, whiny and rude! I would think that’s the time NOT to give them something they like rather than reward them with treats.
I know of people with kids who keep candy/sweets/treats in their bags and whip them out when they sense troubled times ahead. Candy is used as a pacifier or mellow-down-tool or a bribe. I never get that concept. Why would you want to do that? Why wouldn’t you use that opportunity to let the kid learn, “listen” to what the kid really WANTS not what he/she is yelling for? What this results in, is a sugar high kid, becoming hyperactive by the minute and more defiant than earlier.
So stop the excuses lady, make a choice and stick to it!!
This post is part of the Marathon Blogging December 2012.